You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, staring into nothing and not getting dressed for the activity or event you’re “looking forward to”. Maybe it’s a weekly class, team sport or maybe it’s a night out.

You can’t put your finger on it but you feel…numb. Or exhausted just thinking about having to put on a smile and socialise. “I can’t keep pretending I’m ok.”

It might be the first time you are aware of your low mood and lack of interest in the things you used to love, or, it might be a continuation going on for a long time. Maybe you’ve been feeling like this for months. You’ve been managing to push forward, plaster on the smile and bring the energy your colleagues, friends or peers expect of you. But afterwards you’re numb, low and you just can’t be bothered anymore.

You hadn’t quite noticed how often you make excuses, arrange plans with enthusiasm but fervently wish someone else will cancel so you can ‘get out of it’ with relief.

Low mood and depression affecting life. — You’re functioning but it feels like you’re on autopilot. There’s no joy anymore.

Periods of low mood and sadness are common, we all experience it at times. Especially when it’s the result of our circumstances. Feeling low and sad, losing interest in things we used to love is normal after a breakup, missing a goal we’ve worked hard for or feeling unwell and burned out. This isn’t clinical depression, though it shares some of the experience.

Depression goes beyond feeling sad and low temporarily or with circumstances.

It can affect:

Daily functioning: Work, social, family life. Self-care and hygiene.

Emotions: Flat and unbearable, feeling depersonalised like you’re just going through the motions.

Relationships: Irritability and anger can be common, hiding yourself away and isolating yourself from others when you don’t have the energy or can’t find your usual enthusiasm and compassion.

Thoughts: Spiralling and persistent thoughts about being worthless or hopeless can provide a lens which seemingly confirms thoughts that you’re a bad person or of no value.

Physical energy: Low mood often comes with low energy. Or a compulsion to try to ‘outrun’ the low mood it can’t ‘catch up’.

Motivation: “I just don’t care anymore….what’s the point?”. Losing interest in yourself, others and the goals you may have can impact motivation.

Depression and low mood range in severity and impact from mild, temporary lack of energy, sadness and low motivation to severe, persistent and suicidal. It’s important to seek mental health support if you are affected by moderate, persistent or severe depression. Seek emergency support such as 999 if you may act on urges to end your life.

It isn’t laziness or evidence of failure.

If you are struggling with daily life and functioning due to low mood and depression it can be easy to fall into self criticism. Lack of motivation, energy, interest and function isn’t laziness or evidence of failure. Instead it’s part of how depression and low mood manifest, finding compassion for yourself in how difficult this is to manage can help to interrupt loops of negativity.

Symptoms include:

Cognitive:

Negative self-talk

Difficulty with concentration.

Self-criticism.

Indecision

Guilt

Physical:

Appetite changes, eating more or less food and changing the types of food eaten.

Fatigue, low energy.

Difficulty sleeping or getting to sleep.

Heaviness and slowed movements.

Emotional:

Persistent sadness.

Emptiness.

Irritability with self, others and life.

Feeling hopeless and like it can never get better.

Numbness to yourself, others and feeling flat.

Behavioural symptoms:

Withdrawing socially with people across one or more areas of life.

Impaired ability to care for yourself.

Losing interest in hobbies, activities and pastimes you usually enjoy.

Procrastination and avoidance.

Research suggests there may be changes to brain chemistry, structure, stress response systems, the motivation and reward neural pathways, negative cognitive patterns, social withdrawal and shut down behaviours.

Depicts feeling stuck or helpless with depression. Self help and understanding what's happening. — Depression can feel dark, it’s hard to see the way out. Recovery from depression is possible,

Depression involves multiple symptoms, experiences and challenges. At times we may find ourselves stuck in a loop or cycle. Low motivation, reduced self-care and lack of energy can make it difficult to interrupt the cycle. This may make us feel worse and more hopeless and can continue.

Often beginning to feel better comes with small changes which slowly stack up, to tip the balance back rather than a big intervention. This can be hard, sometimes imagining a huge intervention or milestone as the ‘fix’ can feel less overwhelming than having to sustain small, incremental effort over a longer period. Motivation sometimes comes in after we take action.

What can I do to improve depression?

You can try small things to begin to stack actionable improvements. Tailor them to you and what feels helpful or meaningful, they may include:

Sitting up in bed even if you feel you can’t get out.

Opening curtains for natural sunlight.

Small acts of self-care, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Washing your face is an improvement on not washing anything, even if a full shower is unachievable.

Brushing teeth.

Water and nutrition, even if you don’t have an appetite.

A brief walk, even a few steps outside. Bare feet in the garden if you have one.

Message one friend or family member.

The goal is to build the momentum and change the trajectory, the steps are deliberately small. Over time the cumulative effect may allow bigger changes.

If you are working on these small steps, try to notice where self criticism and negative self talk might be sneaking in.

You might find yourself thinking that you’re being ‘pathetic’ or that it’s ‘ridiculous’. One way to reframe it might be to see it as progressive, incremental rehab.

Starting small can build and maintain change and gather strength and functionality as you progress. Compassion, kindness and offering yourself the opportunity to notice the small wins can support the process of recovery.

Finding small actionable steps towards recovery might be considered in balancing tasks across these categories: social connection, functional and self-care, and leisure, pleasure or nurture.

As ever, coming back to the foundations of self-care can help. We mostly know them but it’s hard to do them sometimes.

Mood and movement (Keeping it gentle and comforting if needed.)

Stabilising sleep.

Nutrition and regular eating (Take shortcuts if they help.)

Finding ways to manage this with a ‘good enough’ mindset can help avoid pushing too fast and burning out.

The cycle of depression can continue if perfectionism creeps in and we perceive ourselves as ‘failing’ at tasks.

Sometimes this might look like not getting outside but opening a window. Or, cancelling social plans but providing yourself intentional comfort. It might look like managing none of the small steps but finding kindness for yourself: “I didn’t manage what I wanted to today. That was hard.”

As you find what works for you (and what doesn’t!) you can build a personal plan to refer to. You might list the things which help for days you can’t recall or it feels too difficult to figure out. Maybe:

Music, podcasts or audio books.

Simple easy meal ideas.

Contact information for people you can talk to.

Techniques for breathing and grounding.

Phrases or affirmations which help.

Resources for crisis management.

Activities you enjoy.

Professional support may be helpful if:

Symptoms last longer than two weeks.
Daily functioning is significantly impacted.
Hopelessness is persistent or very strong.
It feels impossible to achieve self-care.
Substance use is being used to cope or other coping mechanisms feel detrimental.

Reach out to emergency services and/or specialised crisis support for urgent help especially if you experience self harm and thoughts of suicide, or escalating plans to end your life.

Professional help might include:

Speaking with your doctor or mental health team.
Medication.
Psychoeducation.
Therapy. Many approaches may be beneficial for example counselling and psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Behavioural Activation Therapy, trauma therapy, addiction support and so on.
Community support and engagement.
Help with practical situations if your housing or financial situation is unstable.

Crisis lines include:

Urgent:

999 if it is an emergency.

A+E department if you are in immediate danger.

NHS 111 Option 2 for urgent mental health support.

Samaritans.

SHOUT text service.

National information, resources and help:

Mind UK

SANE

RETHINK Mental illness

Mental Health support in Salisbury and Wiltshire: